Great question — answering as the UphillTech team:
I'm not clear whether you mean to soften it before shaving (in which case, steam) or whether you just want a softer feeling beard. If the latter, wash it with shampoo and then apply hair conditioner, combing it through, rinse it off, and when its dry, use hair straighteners if you want to stop it being curly (if by 'iron' you actually do mean smoothing out or de- creasing with heat). In theory, you could use an iron and board, but its a bit risky - hard to get the temperature right and avoid burning your skin.
Full answer by Bamboo: https://lifehacks.stackexchange.com/a/3625 (CC BY-SA 3.0).
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